Dating

Screw that you are the head honcho at your company or that you have swam with sharks. The only other thing that petrifies me more than anything is dating. Ok, I'm exaggerating. But honestly, this is just a daunting and nerve-wrecking experience if you haven't done it in a while. Or worst yet, if you've just come out of what was a long and committed relationship.

The rules of the dating game seem to change a little too often. On which date do you let him kiss you? On which date do you sleep with him? On which date do you lay out your medical history and ailments? When do you even start talking about your past relationships and the unresolved issues that you packed up and took with you when you left it?

I hear: "go with the flow" but you have to understand that some flows are a little too fast, torrent even…or a little too slow and figuring out if you have to paddle or float can be tricky when you don't know how deep the stream is. One small thing can ruin what could have been something special and usually, it's that "expectancy" factor. Granted, the whole dating matter is about getting to know one another but I can’t help but think that more often than not, you already have these expectations of the person you are about to scan on your date. And that sucks!

Coming from a time when I never questioned anyone’s thoughts to now being afraid that anything said or done could render the end of something newly started, is frustrating.

I like you but I know absolutely nothing about you. Maybe not absolute. But it’s not enough for me to walk into a store or a record label or even a bookstore and say: “he would love this”. And then of course you have to stop yourself from thinking about the guy who you know oh so well as you walk through those aisles.

I like being liked. Dating is like me putting myself in a petri-dish and screaming: “like me! Like me!” under that microscope. I hate that. Just like me. And tell me enough about yourself to make me break into a grin when I walk down random streets and aisles and think of you. So, fuck this shit! I am awesome. You just have to keep up with me as we make up our own dating rules.