Dear Possibity

Things have been quite crazy and weird between you and I in the last year, more so in the last 6 months.

When our eyes met for the first time a year ago, it was as though a page had been ripped out of a movie script and personified itself into our moment. In a room that was full of people, yours were the first pair of eyes I met; and we held on to that moment with the understanding that that moment was so much better than the bullshit we were both dealing with in our separate lives. It was beautiful. Those few seconds of possibilities, were beautiful.

But I guess anything that resembles a promise of being different is worth the escape, when you're consistently bombarded with the not-so-in-your-head voices that tell you that most of who you are is not good enough for them. So in the days that followed our meeting, we drafted the blueprint of an escape route that only you and I understood...which lead to date number 1. There are so many possible outcomes that could've sprung from that afternoon. For one, I could've not pitched or not enjoyed myself; which would've lead to date-number-2-until-this-moment, not having happened.

I've questioned your presence in my life because at the moment, more of my parts are made of skepticism than they are made of faith. I'm hoping that this is a temporary malfunction, as even I don't recognize this glitch. I've loved that even amidst the questioning, the exclamations that've been cheering for you (few as they've been) have been annoyingly louder.

I guess I'm writing this to let you know that my interest in you has not waned. It's just that I can't reveal the events that lead to the break in transmission just yet. How you're still interested in me (even with all these unfortunate-looking mixed signals of late) is beyond me. I guess it just boils down to the promising possibilities that we mapped out in the moment our eyes locked for the first time; they're worthy of being explored.

Four-leaf-moments

I've always trusted that every once in a while, God amuses himself by making our moments, days or months by shooting some excitement into our lives; you know, kinda to give us something to relay to our grandkids, excusing the mundane rat-race routine that'll probably be the foundation of "you need to study hard so that you can have a good life".

That fundamental conversation never quite made it to my cochlear, thus the free-spirit I am. I live for those "OH-MY-FUCKING-WORD" moments. You know, the ones you get when you look back at the epic day/night you just had and just smile. A friend of mine had one such night,  a few nights ago. It went a little like this:
Boy was roaming around The Mother City waiting for the clocks to strike 8 so that he could roll down to a Jean Grae and Pharoahe Monch gig (mind you, I expressed my utter jealousy at my not having being able to be in Cape Town). Anyway, so Boy went and chilled in front of said gig's venue and then came Girl who stepped up to him and asked him to accompany her to the shops nearby. The gentleman that he is walked Girl to the shops as as they "exchanged syllables and punctuations"and subsequently hung out together at the Hip Hop gig. He says that they really enjoyed that gig and when Pharoah and Jean were done, they chilled until the morning - listening to the DJ's spin some...CD's hey? Seeing as vinyls are being *gulp* wiped out.
This lead to a pizza-breakfast on Long Street, after which, Girl offered boy her couch so that he could get SOME shut-eye before he went home...which he politely accepted. Upon his waking up, Girl made some beats for Boy to rhyme over. Boy says that they were really dope beats and all they used was her Mac.
When he relayed this story to me, he had just left her place. So I asked him: "so, are you gonna see her again?" he said "I dunno"...which I followed on with: "do you want to"? And he came back with "She's 28, Mot!” I wasn't gonna argue with my 23 year old friend. He decided to leave it at that. As to whether they eventually did get together, I dunno. I just really liked his story.